Anger is a normal and (usually) healthy emotion. Anger issues, on the other hand, happen when anger gets out of control and becomes destructive. For some men, this means problems at work, strained personal relationships, and a worse quality of life. Keep reading to learn more about anger issues and tips for managing anger.
What Causes Anger Issues?
Everybody experiences anger, and this emotion can often be a good thing. However, some men experience anger issues that manifest in two ways:
- Feeling angry or irritable more often and with more intensity
- Destructive behavior as a result of anger
Anger issues can have many causes. For some people, having anger issues is a sign of an underlying disorder like anxiety or alcoholism. Other causes of anger issues include:
- Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)
- Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)
- Bipolar disorder
- Intermittent explosive disorder (IED)
For many men, anger issues stem from never learning to process emotions. The good news is that you can learn how to regulate and express your anger (more on that later).
Anger Issues in Men
It’s long been thought that men are naturally more aggressive and prone to anger issues. However, according to an article published in Psychology Today, men and women experience the same frequency and intensity of anger.
But due to socialization, men and women tend to express their anger differently. Being a man does not mean you are more prone to anger issues, but you are still responsible for regulating your emotions healthily.
Do I Have Anger Issues?
You may already know if you have anger issues. But in case you’re unsure, some signs of anger issues include:
- Feeling angry often
- Feeling that your anger is out of control
- Your anger harms your relationships
- Your anger is hurting you or others
- You regret things that you say and do
- You are verbally or physically abusive
Not everyone with anger issues has explosive episodes. Anger can manifest in several ways:
1. Outward Anger
Outward anger is what we think of when we think of anger issues. This form of anger projects outwardly and may include shouting, cursing, throwing objects, or being physically abusive toward others.
2. Inward Anger
Inward anger is a more insidious issue where your anger is directed toward yourself. Negative self-talk, self-denial (both of pleasure and basic needs), self-harm, and isolation are signs of this form of anger.
3. Passive Anger
Passive anger involves using subtle and indirect behaviors to express your anger, like being sarcastic, feeling resentful, making intentional mistakes, “ghosting”, or giving others the silent treatment.
It may be more difficult for men with inward or passive anger issues to realize that their emotions affect their quality of life.
Anger Management for Men: 3 Strategies
Many cases of mild anger issues can be solved by learning some anger-regulation strategies, including:
1. Practice Relaxation
Simple relaxation tools like deep breathing can help calm the physical symptoms of anger. Relaxation allows you to give yourself a “time out”, refocus, and then speak assertively. Many books and courses are available on relaxation techniques.
2. Change the Way You Think & Communicate
Your thoughts have a profound effect on your emotions. If you often use words like “always” or “never” in your inner monologue, you may have a fixed mindset contributing to your anger issues. “My wife is always late” or “My kids are never grateful” are examples of these statements. Expressing these thoughts out loud may also hurt your relationships. Instead, try to look at instances logically and take each experience on a case-by-case basis.
Usually, there is an underlying reason for a trigger. So instead of lashing out, discover what you want and express that as a desire instead of a demand.
3. Make a Plan
Sometimes anger occurs for good reasons: from situations, experiences, or people in our lives that we do not like. If you frequently become angry about the same things, make a plan to change those things. For example, if your boss acts toxic toward you, make a plan to leave your job. If your morning commute irritates you, move closer to work or find a remote position.
If you believe your anger issues negatively affect your quality of life, it may be worth speaking to a mental health professional. They can determine if you have an underlying condition causing your anger issues. Then, you may require further treatment.
While Opt Health doesn’t specifically treat anger issues, many TRT patients have experienced better moods. Our Optimization and Longevity plans include testosterone-replacement therapy, which can boost your testosterone levels and get you feeling like yourself again. Opt Health also helps with other issues men face, like insulin resistance, hair loss, and erectile dysfunction (ED). Click here to get started, or call (855) 443-8678 for a free consultation.